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My experience with my first birth wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t great either and it left me asking a lot of questions. 

I was told at 42.5 weeks that my amniotic fluid was too low. Not knowing what I know now I agreed to an induction. After being induced, my contractions were progressing wonderfully. After about two hours of labor, my nurse came in and told me we needed to up my dose of Pitocin. When I asked her why she looked confused and said, “Because I’m supposed to.” That was my first red flag among many. Because you’re supposed to is the furthest thing from a competent answer. 

After she left, I took the drip out of my arm, disconnected my heart monitor, and decided I wanted to take labor into my own hands. Within three hours I had Oliver on all fours completely unassisted. It was amazing until it wasn’t. 

The number of times they took my newborn baby to run test after test was ridiculous. On top of that, my night nurse came in and took Oliver right off my chest as we were sleeping and told me that I was putting him at risk for suffocation. I refused vitamin K and Hep B which resulted in having CPS called on me the day after I had my baby. The amount of stress I felt in the hospital wasn’t something I ever wanted to experience again. 

When Sebastian, my husband, and I left, we both talked about how much we hated the experience. I didn’t know why at the time, but I knew it wasn’t right, so I began to ask a lot of questions about birth, hospital birth, interventions and so much more. The realization I came to is that birth is not a medical procedure, it’s a physiological one. That’s not to say that some women don’t need medical intervention, but it’s way more prevalent than necessary. It puts women and babies at risk which the hospital acts as the savior, making women think that their baby would’ve died if it wasn’t for the very people to put them at risk in the first place. 

For example, Pitocin (and epidurals) significantly increase your risk of having a C-section. When I learned that I can’t tell you how happy I was that I advocated for myself at that moment.

All of my questioning and research led me to free birth and taking radical accountability for my pre-natal care to ensure I had the best outcome possible. Not everything is in our control, but we can control so much more than we’ve been told.

Most of my free birth decision was a ‘fuck you’ to the system. I wanted to show it was possible not just for myself but for other women too. I also wanted a beautiful, peaceful experience where I was totally in control. That is exactly what happened. It’s amazing what our bodies are capable of when we take total responsibility. The current system disconnects us from our innate wisdom. We are so much more capable than what we’ve been told.

If I want women to gain anything from my story it’s that yes you can. Education is power. Nutrition and protecting your peace is power. Take your power back and stop giving it to a system with a track record of sabotaging what’s supposed to be the most beautiful experience of your life.

My Free Birth Story

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I had abdominal cramping starting around 5:30 am and figured it was something I ate so I didn’t think much of it and I went about my day as normal. I cooked a yummy breakfast, worked out, and then went for a walk with Sebastian and Olives. During the walk, the contractions became stronger and more consistent. At that point, we both knew so we went home to prepare. I ate a ton of beef, bone broth, and liver to give my body the energy it needed. 

My labor progressed wonderfully as I swayed my body through each contraction and ate popsicles in between. 

Around 7:00 is when I told Sebastian to get the bathroom ready. He hung up fairy lights, ran me a warm bath, and turned on some music. Contractions were getting pretty intense so Oliver and Sebastian colored in the bathroom while I worked through each one.

Intuitively I knew we were close so Sebastian told the midwife to start making her way. Shortly after I felt the urge to push, within 3 pushes I felt the baby boy making his way. I breathed him out and felt this euphoric sensation throughout my whole body and before I knew it, I had caught him. 

We did it. Everyone was healthy, happy and so incredibly peaceful.

The midwife showed up 2 minutes after and helped with clean up. She gave me the most beautiful placenta reading which was one of my favorite parts of the night. After she left we put Oliver to bed and ate so much food! We were both so hungry. Then we just sat in the quiet together and held our newest little addition.

It was nothing like the movies portray it to be. It was lovely and felt like the most normal thing in the world to be home as a family. I have never felt more like a divine feminine goddess in my entire life. Birth is magical. For any expecting mammas just know, you are so capable. Your amazing intuition is all you need. Don’t let the system convince you otherwise. You can be sovereign over your own body and birth which is the most beautiful and empowering thing in the world. A conscious birth builds a conscious world.

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